


Someone's Disaster

by Angelic_fangirl



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: College AU, Haphephobia, M/M, Sexual Humor, Very Bad Language, again given, again with the love shiz, aka the fear of touching, but i'm not crossing out the possibility, but you know me, duh - Freeform, eddie loves his fruit loops, have some angst will ya, i'm not promising you any sexy times, pastel!eddie, pennywise who?, punk!richie, some minor stenbrough because I can't get enough, trying to keep it cute, two guys falling in love whoop, v gay such homo, you can pry that off my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-01-21 23:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12468492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelic_fangirl/pseuds/Angelic_fangirl
Summary: The story where a guy with adhd falls in love with a guy who has haphephobia and it leads to all kinds of messes// back at it again with the punk!richie pastel!eddie aus that no one asks for





	1. When are you gonna start paying rent Uris?

**Author's Note:**

> I have too many fic ideas, which is convenient because I want to provide as much as I can to this fandom.
> 
> A quick note from the author: for anybody out there, deciding it will be a good idea to hate on me for this (wouldn't be the first time lmao), I myself have a semi-severe case of haphephobia. I know what it's like, I know that just like everything else, everybody experiences it differently. The way I'm portraying Eddie's haphephobia, aka the fear of touching, is the way I experience it myself. From me it took a long, long, long time, but I eventually got comfortable enough around my friend to allow her to touch me, so that's what I'm doing here.
> 
> THIS FIC DOES NOT ROMANTICIZE HAPHEPHOBIA, KEEP THAT IN MIND, I WOULD LITERALLY NEVER DO THAT, ESPECIALLY IF I SUFFER FROM IT MYSELF thanx.

**1.**

 

Bill had eaten Eddie’s cereal. Again.

 

Now, it wasn’t necessarily _Eddie’s_ cereal. And techincally it had been Bill who paid for the cereal, but only because Eddie had forgotten his wallet. But Bill knew Fruit Loops were literally the only cereal Eddie actually liked, and he still went ahead and ate the last of them.

 

The nerve of that guy.

 

”Bill!” Eddie exclaimed as he held the empty box in his hands. The fucker hadn’t even bothered to throw the box away after he had finished with it, no, Bill Denbrough trusted Eddie to throw it away eventually.

 

”Yeah?” Came Bill’s voice from the living room, where he was watching some shitty rom-com with his boyfriend Stanley.

 

Eddie marched into the living room and threw the empty box at Bill. ”You ate my cereal asshole,” Eddie said. ”And on top of that, you didn’t even bother to throw the box out.”

 

”Bill, we’ve talked about throwing away your trash,” Stan Uris rolled his eyes and took the ceral box from where it had fallen onto Bill’s lap.

 

”Sorry Eddie,” Bill shrugged and whined as Stan moved away from under his. Stan walked into the kitchen and threw the cereal box into the trash, where it belonged. ”I can go get you some, if you like?”

 

Eddie liked living with Bill. They had been friends since they were in diapers and to Eddie Bill was more of a brother than a friend. So when they got accepted into the same University in California, of course they decided to move in together. And while Eddie prefered living with Bill over living with his mother, there was always one thing Eddie never let Bill do – buy groceries. Not only did Bill usually forget most of the essentials, and spend the money on things they didn’t need. Like fifty packages of paper towels, just because there had been a two for one deal.

 

”No you don’t have to. There’s stuff we need to buy anyway,” Eddie shook his head and started to look for a piece of paper and a pen so he could write a list of things they needed. Stan had started to rub off on him. ”Is there anything you need that I am not aware of?”

 

Bill shook his head and smiled. ”Nah, you know my needs better than I do.”

 

”How about you Stan? Since you pretty much live here now, I think your needs should be taken into consideration,” Eddie turned to look at Stan, who was now wiping their kitchen counter, obviously having seen some dirt on it.

 

”Yeah, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, when are you gonna start paying rent Uris?” Bill asked with a teasing smile and the cleaning cloth was thrown at Bill’s head.

 

”You’re out of floss,” Stan told Eddie, who nodded in response and wrote it on his list.

 

* * *

 

The fruit loops were on the top-shelf and Eddie was about 5’3 tall. He had no chance of getting them, no matter how he reached.

 

For a while he considered asking for help. Then he remembered who the fuck he is and decided against it. Eddie’s pride came between him asking help from others (that and the fact that he might’ve been a little socially awkward and everytime he tried talking to new people, most of his answers were just sarcastic comments).

 

Eddie decided that the only way he was going to reach the box was jumping. It was the last cereal box anyway, so he wouldn’t knock anything else down accidentally. He prepared himself for the jump, when suddenly, completely out of nowhere, a hand comes from behind him and grabs the box.

 

”Oops, I guess you were too slow, short-stuff,” a teasing voice comes from behind him, making Eddie whirl around to face the person who stole his cereal.

 

Eddie was almost annoyed that the cereal thief was a Greek god in a leather jacket. The guy was tall, so tall that Eddie had to crane his neck a little too much to look at him in his eyes that were covered by some huge glasses. His eyes looked unnaturally big behind those glasses, yet somehow the guy made it work. His hair was dark and unruly, a little long and curly, looking like it hadn’t been brushed in days. His smirk was teasing and Eddie could deduce from the state of his teeth that the guy had been smoking for quite a while.

 

And just that fact made the level of how much Eddie found his very gay self attracted to this guy drop from one hundred to seventy.

 

”I was trying to get that,” Eddie said blandly. ”And don’t call me short-stuff.”

 

”Oh really? I thought you were doing some stretching-exercising in the middle of a supermarket,” the guy chuckled and looked at Eddie up and down. ”And don’t worry kiddo, you’ll get taller after you grow older.”

 

”Yeah, that might be a problem, cause I’m nineteen and my growth-spurt came and went already,” Eddie rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest.

 

The guy widened his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, but the grin on his face never left. ”Oh that’s a relief, I was almost feeling guilty for checking out your ass.”

 

Eddie felt his face heat up, but he shook it off quickly. ”Well thank lord you aren’t getting charges for pedophilia then. Now can I have what’s rightfully mine,” Eddie said and stretched out his hand with an expecting look.

 

”Aw, but aren’t you going to tell me your name first,” the guy pouted.

 

Eddie shook his head. ”I doubt you’ll be needing it.”

 

”Don’t be like that cupcake. I don’t think I’ll ever meet a guy as cute as you again, you can’t leave me hanging like this,” the guy said and put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, making alarm bells blast off in Eddie’s head immediately. In less than a second Eddie had slapped the guy’s hand off his shoulder.

 

”Don’t touch me,” Eddie muttered, taking a small step away from the still nameless guy, who now looked both confused and curious. It was quickly shaken off though, as the ever-lasting grin returned on his face again.

 

”What if I go first. I’m Richie Tozier, but you can call me the man of your dreams,” he said with a little bow, which would have been cute and funny if Eddie hadn’t been annoyed and still slightly panicky. ”So am I going to get your name or what?”

 

Eddie shook his head. ”Yeah, it’s still a no from me.”

 

Richie looked at the cereal box in his hand and then back at Eddie and back at the cereal box again. Then he quickly pulled out a black marker from the pocket of his jacket (who carries around a marker anyway?) and started writing something on the box. ”You can have the cereal, which now has my phone number on it by the way, if you tell me your name,” he said and grinned, showing the cereal box to Eddie.

 

Eddie pursed his lips. They had been talking all of five minutes and the guy already managed to find out that Fruit Loops were the one thing that always made Eddie do anything.

 

”It’s Eddie. Now gimme the goods,” Eddie said and pulled the box out of Richie’s hands, carefully avoiding touching his fingers and then ran off with his shopping-cart.

 

”Call me!” Richie yelled after him, but Eddie was certain that they both knew it wasn’t going to happen.


	2. A restriction order would be nice

**2.**

 

”There’s this thing Bill called deciding your order before we’re at the top of the line,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes. ”I think you should get familiar with it.”

 

”But there’s so many options,” Bill whined. ”Okay, I th-think, shit, I think I’ll have the cho-colate cappuchino.” Bill grimaced after the last sentence.

 

Bill used to suffer from a horrible stutter, but after years and years of going to speech-therapy he learned to control it, but in situations like these, when he had to order something and when it was a person he wasn’t familiar with, the old habit got the best of him and he couldn’t help it. Bill was mostly confident and very good at social situations, unlike Eddie, but there were times when even the mighty Big Bill got nervous.

 

The barista gave them a friendly smile and typed their orders into the computer. ”That’ll be $14,25 please.”

 

The only reason Eddie had agreed to come have coffee with Bill after their classes had ended was because Bill had agreed to pay. And because Bill wouldn’t stop whining until Eddie gave in. Honestly, Eddie just wanted to go and spend the rest of the day laying on the couch watching Friends reruns.

 

Bill paid for the drinks while the barista started making them. ”It’s outrageous,” Eddie muttered. ”It’s a cup of coffee, how can it be that expensive?”

 

”But Eddie, it’s _handmade_ coffee. That tastes like chocolate,” Bill sighed in an exaggerated voice.

 

Eddie just rolled his eyes and took his drink from the barista with a smile. Then Bill and he went to the nearest vacant table in the crowded coffee shop and sat down.

 

”Oh, there’s that record store I was telling you about,” Bill pointed to the store in the other side of the street. ”Can we make a quick stop there? I sort of made promise to Stan to buy him a new cd for his birthday.”

 

Eddie eyed the record store. ”I doubt they sell Stan’s kind of music there,” Eddie said, still staring at the store. It looked like Billy Joe Armstrong had thrown up on the walls and the owners had decided that cleaning it off was a bad idea.

 

”I’ve gone there before. They have all kinds of music. It’s just their aesthetic, and the guy whose always working there is like one of the funniest dudes I know. We’ve actually hung out a couple of times.”

 

”If you say so,” Eddie said and sipped on his smoking hot latte. ”Ah, why does this have to be so hot?”

 

Bill let out a laugh. ”Seriously, there’s just no pleasing you, is there?”

 

After they finished their coffees, Eddie followed Bill into the record store. Just standing in front of the store made Eddie feel out of place, but walking in the store was on another level. It definitely wasn’t a place for Eddie, who liked to wear pink and floral printed shirts and all in all liked pale and pastel-y colours. No, the place seemed more suitable for people like… like…

 

”Hey Richie,” Bill said and waved to somebody over the cash register. Eddie widened his eyes, wishing that the world wouldn’t be that cruel to him and that there was other punk ass bitch named Richie in town.

 

But the world had never really given him nice things, and when Eddie turned his head to look at who Bill was waving at, of course it had to be that god awful Richie who Eddie had met one single time and already didn’t like.

 

”Hey Bil-” Richie’s greeting cut short as he took a look who Bill was with and a wide smirk formed on his face. ”-l. Hey there Eddie-bear!”

 

Eddie felt like he wanted the ground to swallow him as Bill turned to look at him with a confused look. ”You know Tozier?” he asked.

 

Eddie shook his head. ”Met him once, and that was one time too many.”

 

”Aw Eds, why must you break my heart,” Richie pouted and put a hand on his chest. ”Just like you broke my heart when you didn’t call me.”

 

”I don’t know what’s happening,” Bill shook his head, his eyes moving between Eddie and Richie rapidly. ”You didn’t have some drunken one night stand, did you? Wait no, that would be weird, for multiple reasons.”

 

”Oh I wish, we’d had a drunken one night stand,” Richie let out a long sigh. ”Then I could have an excuse to throw rocks at your window, begging for more.”

 

That’s when Richie made the same mistake as he did last time, and put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. To Eddie it was like Richie’s hand was scaldingly hot piece of iron on his skin, making Eddie jump back immediately and slap the hand away. Richie let out a hiss and shook his hand a little bit, like the sharp slap actually hurt him and stared at Eddie with that curious expression again.

 

”Well what’s up with you?” he asked with a little chuckle, trying to lighten up the suddenly tense athmosphere, while Bill shook his head and Eddie gritted his teeth slightly.

 

”You don’t touch people you just met,” Eddie said after a while, trying to calm his breathing. ”Or if they haven’t given you a permission to do so.”

 

”Okay? Can I put my hand on your shoulder then?” Richie asked, but Eddie shook his head rapidly, moving behind Bill to hide. ”There’s something wrong with him,” Richie said to Bill, who shook his head again with a grimace.

 

”They say the same thing about you Richie,” Bill said. ”Do you have Adele?” he asked then, trying to change the subject, and succeeding as Richie guided him to the right section. Eddie stayed where he was and started to look around himself.

 

Yes, it definitely wasn’t a place where Eddie Kaspbrak would want to spend his freetime in.

 

It didn’t take long for Bill to find what he was looking for, and Eddie let out a long sigh of relief when Bill and Richie walked to the cash register. They were in deep conversation about something, laughing every once in a while, but Eddie didn’t care to listen that much. He just wanted to get to the comfort of his bed fast as possible, just for the Friends reruns and lock himself from the world around him for a while.

 

”So Eddie-cakes, is there anything you need,” Richie asked from him. ”A cd, a band T-shirt, a blowjob, a vinyl..?”

 

”A restriction-order would be nice,” Eddie answered dryly, making Richie chuckle at him.

 

”I think I like you Eddie Spaghetti,” he hummed, eyeing Eddie a little bit, Bill still standing between them, looking a little uncomfortable as he rubbed the back of his neck.

 

”Too bad the feeling isn’t mutual,” Eddie rolled his eyes. ”And don’t call me that.”

 

”Eddie Spaghetti it is for the rest of the days.”

 

* * *

 

 

Talking with his mother was never one of Eddie’s favourite activities. In fact, he liked to put it off as much as he possibly could. Not only was Sonia Kaspbrak extremely overbearing, but she strongly disagreed with Eddie living on his own, so far away from his mother’s warm and caring protection. Every time she would call Eddie, she would do her best to convince him to come back home. She obviously had yet to succeed.

 

”No, mom, really I’m fine,” Eddie said for what seemed like the fiftieth time. ”I have a job, mom. I can provide myself.”

 

” _But what about your medication Eddie-bear? Can you afford the refills on your medication?”_

 

His mother didn’t know it, but the only medication Eddie actually used was his inhaler. Most of his medication was complete bullshit, and he was sure the inhalor was bullshit as well, but it did calm him down significantly, especially when he got anxious or panicky, so he always kept it with him.

 

Then there was the one bottle of pills, which Eddie had locked away and left it to dust. Eddie remembered how his mother used to force it down his throat, insisting that this was the only way to fix Eddie’s _problem_. What she didn’t know was that Eddie felt like it made the _problem_ worse – every time she would forcefully grab him and make him open his mouth, not let him breathe until the pills were swallowed, only added to the _problem_ that defined Eddie’s entire life.

 

”You literally sent me refills last week mom,” Eddie sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. ”I think I’m good for a while.”

 

” _Have you visited the therapist I told you about Eddie-bear?”_

 

Eddie swallowed the lump forming in his throat. ”I made an appointment for the week after next,” Eddie lied, trying to disguise the shakiness in his voice with small laughter. ”Is there anything else you needed?”

 

” _I guess not-”_

 

”Okay, well I’m kind of busy at the moment, so bye mom, love you!” Eddie quickly hung up the phone and threw it on his bed, searching for his inhaler. Every time his mother brought up the therapist she wanted him to see, it felt like somebody was strangling him. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to get rid of his… _problem_ , like she always put it. He really, really did want to fix the _problem_ , but sometimes it was just too much for him.

 

He would try to allow Bill to hug him, but feel like throwing up when it happened. He would try to shake the doctor’s hand, but immediately run away after the contact was made. When they were younger he allowed Bill to try and kiss him, but the second Bill’s lips touched his, Eddie felt the burning sensations again, he pushed Bill away, his heart hammering in his chest. Next thing he knew, he hadn’t talked to Bill for a week.

 

Eddie didn’t feel like there was anything to be done at this point. So he didn’t really bother to even try.


	3. people are disgusting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeyy, it's ya girl! Thanks for all the love and support for this story, and sorry for the long wait! Enjoy this new chappy

**3.**

 

By no means did Eddie hate his job. The diner paid good and was mostly quiet with an occasional drunk guy coming in and demanding a free refill on their sodas. Luckily during those nights it was quiet.

 

Though the job was good, Eddie hated rush hour. He usually never had classes during lunch, which was where his boss always put his shift. It could’ve been worse – at least you didn’t get bored. But every once in a while you did get sick of people groaning when they didn’t get service quick enough, and no matter how many employees were working, it never seemed to sufficient.

 

The bright side was that Bill usually came in during Wednesdays to have lunch, sometimes bringing a classmate with him, sometimes Stan. This time though, Bill had come with Richie and Eddie nearly refused to approach the table.

 

”Hey Eddie, your boyfriend is here,” Beverly, one of his co-workers, noted after Eddie had succesfully avoided the table for two whole minutes. Usually Eddie was watching the door, just so he could strike as soon as Bill came. ”You gonna serve him?”

 

Eddie rolled his eyes and dried his hands after having been washing them for the past minute. ”I’ve told you times and times again, Bill isn’t my boyfriend,” Eddie said. ”And in a minute.”

 

”Could’ve fooled me,” Beverly laughed and took a look at Bill and Richie again. ”oh shit, is that Richie Tozier? I didn’t know Bill was friends with him.”

 

”Yes, unfortunately it does seem to be the one and only,” Eddie groaned and leaned on the counter. ”You know him?”

 

Beverly shrugged. ”He’s in my art class,” she answered. ”We’ve shared a cigarette or two, and sometimes I’ve seen him at parties. Not that close with him though. But my boyfriend Ben is good friends with his friend Mike.”

 

”Right...” Eddie said awkwardly, letting out a loud sigh. ”Guess I better get taking their order.”

 

”You don’t seem too excited. Trouble in paradise with Bill? Did he forget to flush the toilet again during his midnight adventures to the toilet?”

 

”I’m saying this for the last time Beverly: Bill is not my boyfriend. He’s in a happy relationship, and even if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be my type,” Eddie snapped and marched over to where Bill and Richie were sitting, catching Richie’s eyes.

 

Richie was sitting at the booth like he fucking owned the place, and it irritated the living hell out of Eddie. He was grinning like crazy when Eddie reached the table, taking out his notebad.

 

”Hey Eddie Spaghetti, looking cute on that apron,” Richie winked.

 

Eddie rolled his eyes and turned to face Bill. ”When I tell you to take out the trash, I don’t mean bring it here.”

 

Bill let out a loud snort. ”We were hanging out, so thought might as well bring him with me,” Bill defended himself. ”And he’ll have the same as me.”

 

Bill always took the same thing when he came to the diner, and if he came alone, Eddie didn’t even bother going over before giving the chef his order. In fact, if the chef saw Bill coming, Eddie didn’t even have to write the order down.

 

”Great,” Eddie said dryly and walked away back to the counter.

 

”You don’t look too happy,” Beverly mused as Eddie joined her behind the counter.

 

”Don’t you have work to do?” Eddie asked and took a wet rag into his hands and started to wipe the counter clean for what felt like the seventh time today. The worst rush had eneded already – and besides their coworkers Michelle and Fred usually managed to take the orders pretty well just the two of them, so Eddie and Beverly often worked behind the counter.

 

”Yeah, I was just yelling at that kid to stop drawing on the walls or he’ll pay for it,” Beverly said. ”His dad called me a bitch, though.”

 

Eddie cringled his nose. ”People are disgusting.”

 

”You didn’t seem too happy with our buddy ol’ pal Richard Tozier,” Beverly noted, casting a curious look at Richie’s direction. ”Might I ask you why?”

 

”The guy has no sense of boundaries and is all in all annoying,” Eddie answered shortly. Beverly would know what Eddie meant with _boundaries_. She didn’t have the same phobia as Eddie did, but she had gone through some tough shit herself, and often would snap at people for touching her without her consent.

 

But of course in her case, the touching was different.

 

Beverly nodded and gave him an apologetic look. ”Yeah, sometimes he just can’t take a hint. Even if you yell it in his face he might not get it. It’s like if he doesn’t understand the reason behind something, then it doesn’t go in to his brain. Frustrating really.”

 

”Tell me about it,” Eddie rolled his eyes. ”Met him literally twice and I hope I’ll never see him again after this day.”

 

”Well, considering that he seems to be buddies with Bill, you’re just going to have to get used to it.”

 

Eddie groaned. ”Do me a favour Bev?” Beverly nodded at Eddie’s question. ”You bring them their orders, and I’ll take your side of the diner.”

 

* * *

 

When Eddie came home at 8 P.M, he was ready to just collapse onto his bed and sleep until Christmas. Of course things never went Eddie’s way, because when he opened the door and threw his keys into the table, the first thing he noticed was an unfamiliar pair of boots at their doorway.

 

”Bill? Whose shoes are those at the door?” Eddie yelled and walked further into their apartment, and saw the one Richie Tozier laying on their couch.

 

”Those would be mine, my fair maiden,” he grinned at Eddie.

 

Eddie glared at Richie. ”Where’s Bill?” he demanded, in a not so kind way.

 

”Wow, is this the way you treat all your visitors? Damn, no wonder Bill said you have rarely people over.”

 

”Just answer my damn question,” Eddie sighed and rubbed his temples, trying to ease the headache one particularly vexatious customer had caused him.

 

”Went to look for a movie,” Richie answered, bouncing his leg up and down on the couch.

 

Eddie stayed where he was standing, fingers still on his temples. Leaning on the wall behind him, Eddie let out a way too loud sigh and started to wonder whether or not they had any pain killers. He had thrown about ten bottles off pills away last night, out of pure rebellion and anger towards his mother’s control over him, and now he wasn’t sure if the containor with painkillers was one of them.

 

”Having a headache?” Richie asked, and Eddie nodded. ”If you come over here, I can give you a proper head-massage. You know I’ve been told my fingers do magic.” Richie wiggled his eyebrows at Eddie, and maybe Eddie would have laughed if he wasn’t so tired, and if the head ache wasn’t literally killing him.

 

”Yeah, thanks but no thanks. I think we both know why,” Eddie said.

 

Richie cocked his head to the side a little. ”Seriously, what’s with the touching anyway. I know Bev is sometimes cautious with touching, but she’s nowhere near as bad as you.”

 

”It just makes me uncomfortable, now let it go,” Eddie said, doing his best not to snap. He was told he could be a little sensitive when people asked him about his phobia, and he always ended up mad and irritated. He was still learning to control that.

 

”Do you have like, a real proper phobia, or..?”

 

Eddie groaned. ”I told you to let it go,” he muttered, pushing himself up from the wall and walking over to their bathroom, and started to rummage through their mirror cabinet for some painkillers. Unfortunately for him, Richie had decided to follow.

 

”You know, it would be easier for me to understand if you’d just explain it to me,” he said, bouncing on his heels, back and forth, back and forth.

 

”There’s really nothing to understand. I don’t like it when people touch me, it makes me uncomfortable and anxious, and yes, it’s a proper phobia, look it up if you’re so interested,” Eddie snapped, cursing under his breath when he couldn’t find the painkillers. ”And could you stop that!” Eddie snapped, referring to Richie’s constant bouncing, and Richie stopped.

 

”Can you just allow people to touch you without feeling uncomfortable?” Richie asked immediately, a small edge to his voice.

 

”No?” Eddie said, feeling as though that should have been obvious.

 

”Exactly,” Richie just answered, and just then Bill walked into the bathroom, a pile of dvd’s in his hands.

 

”Hey! What’cha looking for Eddie?” He asked, oblivious to Eddie and Richie’s previous conversation.

 

”For the painkillers. I think I threw them away last night without realizing it, you know with the others,” Eddie groaned and kept on going through the cabinet. ”Should’ve checked the labels.”

 

Bill placed the pile of movies on the bathroom counter and helped Eddie to look. Eddie almost didn’t want Bill to help, because then he would find the full, unopened, dusty bottle of actual medication that he supposedly needed, and Bill would just flip out.

 

”Why were you throwing away medicine?” Richie asked, leaning on the doorframe. ”Like, if you need it… why would you throw it out.”

 

”I don’t need them. They’re bullshit,” Eddie snapped.

 

Richie threw up his hands in mock surrender. ”Okay, sorry for asking.” And with those words, Richie left Bill and Eddie alone in the bathroom and went back to the living room.

 

”You shouldn’t be so mean to him Eddie,” Bill noted. ”He doesn’t mean anything bad.”

 

Eddie sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. ”Yeah, I know. I’m just a little on edge today, I’ll apologize to him.”

 

”Yeah, you shou-” Bill didn’t finish his sentence, because he had grabbed the bottle of pills that Eddie had dreaded him finding. ”Eddie...” Bill said slowly, looking Eddie in the eye. ”Why isn’t this opened?”

 

Eddie grimaced and almost made a run for it. He didn’t want to have a conversation with Bill about _those pills_ – how they made him feel like a freak and as though something was seriously wrong with him, and how Eddie hated how people treated him like he was made of glass just because of his phobia and those pills were the concrete proof of that. He didn’t want to tell Bill how every time he took one of those pills, he almost vomited and wanted to cry.

 

He knew that the pills were supposed to calm him down, but it felt like they did the exact opposite. It felt like somebody was constantly touching him, and Eddie knew the feeling wasn’t real, it was all in his head, but it was still there. He still felt it.

 

”I-” Eddie couldn’t get the words out of his mouth. He felt like if he said anything more, he would just end up crying his eyes out.

 

”Eddie, you know these are supposed to help you!” Bill was yelling now – he never yelled. Eddie knew Bill just meant the best for him, and he was just letting out his frustration, but it didn’t make him feel any better.

 

”Well they don’t!” Eddie screamed right back, knowing that he probably had alarmed Richie at this point. ”They just make my anxiety worse and feel like my skin is on fire.” Eddie was openly sobbing now, and Bill seemed to calm down at the sight.

 

Eddie hated himself for having this reaction to the whole thing. It wasn’t that big of a deal – they were just some pills. Maybe if he actually used them, he’d get used to them eventually and they’d start helping.

 

Maybe his friends and family were right – he really was made of glass, at least when it came to dealing with his phobia.

 

”Eddie, it seems like you have no desire to actually get over this,” Bill said quietly, and Eddie noticed that their yelling had attracted Richie’s attention. He was now glancing at them from the living room, through the open doorway.

 

”I do, I really do, but...” Eddie swallowed. ”I just don’t feel comfortable taking those pills. I just need some time.”

 


	4. is there supposed to be something there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it again! Thank you all so much for all the positive feedback! It means a lot, so keep it coming, i love to read your comments. i know i don't answer them that often, mostly because i don't have time and am busy just smiling and giggling over them, but know that i do seem all the comments and love to read them. i know myself that people don't always have the energy to comment anything, i myself do that sometimes, but many authors appreciate it so keep it coming!
> 
> i'm also happy that people have responded to this fic so well, because haphephobia is a problem i too deal with, so i love the fact that people are responding so nicely to this story!  
> sorry for all the mistakes, i'll try to fix them when i finish this story or when i have time!

**4.**

 

Eddie didn’t see Richie anywhere for two entire weeks – which was a good thing of course. A small part of him started to hope that he would never have to see Richie’s face again in his life, but Eddie couldn’t get that lucky, now could he.

 

The next time Eddie saw Richie, it was at the pharmacy. It was weird really – Eddie had gone nineteen whole years without interacting with Richie in anyway – and the minute he meets him the first time, he can’t avoid him. A distant part of Eddie’s brain was screaming that Richie was some sort of stalker who had been keeping an eye on Eddie for years before making his move – but that was just stupid.

 

Was it? Yes, yes it was.

 

The reason why Eddie was at the pharmacy was because Bill basically forced him to get the refills he needed for his pills – it turned out that the pills in the bathroom had expired, and now Bill was actually making Eddie take them.

 

Of course Eddie knew that Bill just wanted what’s best for Eddie, but Bill just didn’t get it. Nobody did – that’s why Eddie didn’t want to go to see a therapist either. How can somebody who doesn’t understand what it’s actually like help him? How is somebody who hasn’t suffered from the same phobia as Eddie supposed to know how to cure it?

 

For a minute Eddie contemplated on hiding behind a shelf. Then he figured that he would have looked dumb, Richie would have probably seen him anyway. And besides, Bill was right on one thing – Eddie _had_ treated Richie a little unfairly. But he would just blame that on his social akwardness.

 

So when Richie spotted him, Eddie didn’t hide, just continued on trying to find out those damned painkillers that he had yet to by.

 

”Hey Eddie Spaghettie!” Richie grinned and bounced over to Eddie, tapping his fingers against the shelves. ”I was already fearing that you were purposely trying to make sure we would never cross paths again.”

 

”And look how well my plan worked out,” Eddie sighed, offering Richie a small smile, perhaps for the first time. ”Failed, again.”

 

Richie beamed at him. ”Am I seeing things, or did Eddie Kaspbrak actually smile at me?”

 

”Yeah, well don’t get used to it,” Eddie said, finally finding the pain killers he was looking for, before giving Richie a sucpisious glance. ”What are you here for anyway? You’re not stalking me are you?”

 

Richie threw up his hands in surrender, letting out a dramatic sigh. ”Well you caught me.”

 

Eddie scoffed, before making his way to the counter. Richie followed him, although the small bag in his hand suggested that Richie had already made his purchase.

 

”So, what are you doing tonight?” Richie asked, leaning over the counter as the shop assistant went to get Eddie’s medication after he had showed his prescription.

 

Eddie shrugged. ”Don’t know. Nothing probably.”

 

”We should hang out,” Richie said with a grin, bouncing on his toes again. Eddie’s gaze fell to Richie’s feet soon after the movement had started, thinking about how Richie never seemed to be able to stay still. It was sort of distracting.

 

”Why would we do that,” Eddie then said, lifting his gaze again to meet Richie’s eyes as the taller boy smiled down at him. ”We don’t know each other.”

 

”Exactly. The perfect opportunity for us to get to know each other and for you to realize that I’m the man of your dreams.”

 

Eddie rolled his eyes, just as the sales assistant came back with his medication, scanning over it and telling him the final price. Eddie paid it with his credit card, where his mother usually gave him the money for his medication. He wasn’t able to afford it by himself.

 

”How do you know I haven’t already met the man of my dreams,” Eddie said as he walked out of the pharmacy, Richie hot on his heels.

 

”I know you’ve met him already – he’s me. But you’ve yet to realize it,” Richie said, trying to throw his arms around Eddie’s shoulder. Luckily though, Eddie saw the movement coming, and quickly dodged it, already feeling panicky, even if no real contact had been done.

 

_God, get over it. He didn’t even touch you, there’s no need for you to be so alarmed._

 

”Oh, shit sorry,” Richie stammered quickly, as he realized his mistake, putting his hands over his mouth. ”I swear, I didn’t mean to do that, I just didn’t remember, no I did remember, but I didn’t think, I’m so sorry, please don’t look at me with that alarmed expression!” Richie spoke too quickly for Eddie to actually pay attention to anything he was saying. Instead, he consentrated on taking deep breaths, like he always tried to do, trying to calm his beating heart and ignore the feeling of his skin being on fire.

 

_He didn’t even touch you! Quit getting so easily shaken by the smallest things._

 

”It’s… fine. You didn’t do anything. You didn’t even touch me.” Eddie then continued on his way, staring at his feet, not looking where he was going.

 

It was always moments like these that made him think that maybe his mom and Bill and everybody was right – he really was made of glass. He couldn’t handle even the slightest possibility of being touched – that’s how bad it was. How was he ever supposed to be comfortable with somebody even brushing against him if even accidents like that made his anxiety levels jump to the roof.

 

”No, it’s really not fine,” Richie said, running after Eddie. ”I should know better, and yet, here I am again, not caring that you obviously don’t want to be touched.”

 

Eddie bit his lip, stealing a quick glance at Richie. ”Thanks,” he muttered, looking down at his feet again.

 

”So… you’re _not_ doing anything tonight, huh?”

 

* * *

 

”Wait, so you’re actually voluntarily going to hang out with him?” Stan questioned, as he turned the page on his book. Stan was once again spending time at Bill and Eddie’s place, which was no surprise to Eddie. ”I though you said that Eddie can’t stand Richie?” Stan directed the question to Bill. ”Not sure if I can blame him though.”

 

Eddie groaned. ”He wouldn’t stop pestering me until I said yes. We just sort of bumped into each other at the pharmacy and then he wouldn’t leave me alone until I agreed to go to a movie with him,” Eddie explained before grinning. ”It’s a good thing you two are coming with me.”

 

”We are?” Bill asked with a disbelieving chuckle. ”Are you sure you want Stan and me tagging along to your first date since we were, like fifteen?”

 

”It’s not a date Bill, and you know it.”

 

When Eddie was younger and much more naive and wasn’t aware of how gay he actually was, he had gone out with a girl. When Eddie had walked the girl home, Susan was her name, she had tried to kiss him good night and Eddie had ended up spraying water on her face. After that Eddie hadn’t dared to accept any of the date requests he got, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to respond to their touches in a way that a potential significant other was supposed to.

 

”I think it would be a great idea for you to go on a date,” Stan butted in. ”Maybe just not with the biggest dickwad in the Universe.”

 

Eddie turned his head to look at Stan. ”How do you know him anyway?”

 

”Made the mistake of walking into the record shop once. Haven’t done that since.”

 

* * *

 

”I wasn’t aware that our date was going to be an orgy,” Richie mused when he met with Eddie, Bill and Stan at the movie theater. ”You should’ve warned me Eddie Spagetti, I would’ve brought some along.”

 

Eddie rolled his eyes and glared at the messy haired giant that was grinning down at him. ”Shut up and don’t call me that,” he grumbled.

 

”I didn’t really think you’d be into that sort of stuff anyway. You know with all the touching and...”

 

”You know Tozier, most people have this voice inside their head that tells them what they should and should not say,” Stan cut Richie off. ”I think you lack the presence of the said voice.”

 

Before Richie could answer Stan, Bill had come between the two, putting his arms around their shoulders and nudging them along. ”Get along now guys,” he said. ”This is supposed to be fun, don’t ruin it by bickering all night. You don’t mind us being here, do you Richie?”

 

”Nah, more the merrier, as long as I get to sit next to Eddie Spagetti,” Richie said with a grin, looking at Eddie. He was once again bouncing on his heels, with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, but it was obvious that his hands were playing with something.

 

”I was thinking more along the lines ’let’s sit on the opposite ends of the theatre’,” Eddie suggested, making Bill and Stan roll their eyes.

 

”What kind of date would it be if you two didn’t sit next to each other?” Bill batted his eyelashes in an innocent way, and Eddie had to restrain himself from slapping Bill.

 

See the thing was, Eddie could handle touching other people, even if the touches were very brief. The catch there was, _they_ weren’t allowed to touch _him_. It sounded complicated, but to Eddie it was simple – if it was Eddie quickly fixing a stray hair out of Bill’s face, it didn’t matter that much, because Eddie had the complete control over it. He himself was the one to decide where he was to touch the other person, how long it would last and so on. But if it was the other way around, Eddie didn’t have the wanted control over it.

 

It wasn’t the entire reason behind his fear, but it was part of it.

 

”Shut up Bill, you know it’s not a date,” Eddie muttered at the same time as Richie grinned widely, saying ”I knew it was a date!”

 

”Oh god, it’s going to be a long night, isn’t it?” Stan muttered, already glancing at the watch on his wrist.

 

* * *

 

They ended up seeing some superhero movie that both Bill and Richie had been enthusiastic to see, whereas Stan and Eddie… not so much. It didn’t matter much though, Eddie didn’t hate superhero movies – when he was younger he and Bill _lived_ for comic books and the superheros that ventured in them. It was the loud crackle and ruckus that came with the movies that Eddie wasn’t too fond of.

 

All in all Eddie didn’t hate the movie. Anything with a shirtless muscular man was an instant win for Eddie, because he was so gay.

 

”As much as I enjoyed that movie,” Richie said as the four of them walked out of the movie theatre. ”and I did, trust me, I don’t like how Eddie spent most of his time drooling after shirtless Thor when he was supposed to be focusing on me.”

 

Eddie found it funny that _Richie_ would be complaning about _his_ focus during the movie. It seemed like Richie hadn’t been able to concentrate on just one thing during the two hours that they had sat in the theatre. He would be constantly fidgeting, not sitting still on his seat, even agitating one particularly annoyed movie-goer with his constant movement. For once Richie actually seemed vaguely _ashamed_ as the man snapped at him – Richie grimaced in an awkward way and blushed slightly and tried to keep still after that – he actually stayed still for almost five minutes before starting again.

 

Then there was the thing that whereas he did concentrate on the movie, he also had to be doing something else. Once or twice he took out his phone and started playing Angry Birds on it, every once in a while glancing at the screen, and when he got sick of that he put his phone away again and started to kick the empty seat in front of him. Then he started to poke Stan’s cheek, and his ribs and his arm until Stan almost yelled at him and switched seats with Bill. Of course Richie didn’t stop there and started to poke Bill, but he didn’t seem to mind as much.

 

”Hate to disappoint you Richie, but between you and Chris Hemsworth, you look like a _cockroach_ ,” Eddie said with a dry smile. Of course he wasn’t going to say out loud how he might drool after muscular men, but he would never actually date one. He was more into men like Richie – tall and lean and not a total body-builder.

 

But he wasn’t going to say that out loud.

 

”Oh please, Chris Hemsworth has nothing on me,” Richie scoffed and playfully flexed his bicep.

 

”Is there supposed to be something there?” Eddie asked.

 

”You can’t see it under this jacket,” Richie replied. ”But you can feel it, come on have a go.” Richie got closer to Eddie and put his arm in front of Eddie’s face, trying to encourage Eddie to touch his bicep.

 

”Pass.”

 

Richie took a step back. ”Right. The touching thing. Gotta remember that,” Richie nodded taking another step back just in case and bounced his other leg rapidly.

 

”Well, it’s not like I don’t feel comfortable touching other people, well techincally I don’t, but I don’t mind it as much as other people touching me, it’s complicated-” Eddie rambled on, unsure why he would even tell this to Richie.

 

”So what you’re saying is that _I_ can’t give _you_ a handjob, but _you_ wouldn’t mind giving _me_ ,” Richie interrupted with a wide smirk on his face, making the rest of the three groan.

 

”If you two are done flirting,” Stan said, his eyes moving between Richie and eddie. ”and I hope you are, Bill and I thought we’d go have something to eat, so are you coming with or..?”

 

”We weren’t flirting,” Eddie grumbled, but was glad that Stan brought up food, because that had instantly gotten Richie’s complete attention.

 

”Did someone say food? I’m in!”


	5. Gag reflex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more of a filler-chapter really, sorry for the long wait. I've literally had two weeks of boredom and guess what I've done? nothing. I have like seriously so many exams coming up and I've just laid in my bed and watched stranger things. Oops, I guess?
> 
> thank you for all who comment and leave kudos! They honestly give me more motivation to keep writing and neglect my responsibilities. Hope you still like this chapter, I was half asleep when i wrote it, so sorry for all the mistakes! I'll proof-read this before 2030, I promise

**5.**

 

Eddie wasn’t sure if it had been the biggest mistake or the best thing he had ever done when he gave Richie Tozier his phone number. Sure, Richie had written his own phone number on the cereal box – that was long gone in the trash can by now – but Eddie hadn’t really bothered to use it. Apparently this had annoyed Richie to the point in which he demanded that Eddie gives him his phone number, and if he doesn’t, Bill probably will.

 

And at that moment, Eddie thought ’fine, why not’. Richie might’ve been a big flirt and Eddie did find himself flustered a couple of times by his words, he didn’t expect Richie to actually start calling him on daily basis. Eddie had assumed that Richie was one of those people who flirt with everybody and doesn’t want anything serious.

 

So of course Eddie was surprised when Richie would call him at least once a day, sometimes twice.

 

”So, an important question coming up,” Richie’s voice came from the other end of the line. It was nearly midnight and they had been talking for almost two hours now and Eddie was getting worried about how much he enjoyed talking to the trashmouthed guy. ”It’s something that’s very close to my heart and I need you to be honest with me.

 

Eddie rolled his eyes. ”Shoot,” he asnwered, fully knowing that what was coming up wasn’t going to be good.

 

”What kind of gag reflex do you have?”

 

”Are you serious?” Eddie asked him, resting his head on the armrest on his couch.

 

”Do I sound like I’m joking? I’m dead serious Spaghetti, if we want this thing between us to work and endure, it’s absolutely fucking _crucial_ that you have a little to none.”

 

Eddie scoffed. ”You know Richie, it’s never really been my priority to find out, so I can’t say that I know,” he said, looking in the direction of Bill’s room where Stan and Bill were sleeping. At least Eddie assumed they were, considering that they wouldn’t be so god damn silent if they were doing anything else.

 

Eddie purposedly ignored the part in which Richie said ’this thing between us’ because it made his heartbeat fasten and his stomach flutter in an uncomfortable sort of way.

 

”Oh, darn. Want me to come and test it out?” Richie asked, and Eddie didn’t have to see his face to know that he was smirking.

 

”I can’t really say that thta sounds tempting,” Eddie admitted, smiling, mostly because he could get away with it without Richie noticing. ”Thanks for the offer though.”

 

”I know that many guys find the hard to get-act all hot and shit – trust me, I’m one of them – but I feel like we could be so much more if you’d just drop on to your knees and confess your undying love for me. I mean, just imagine all the hot sex we could have.”

 

”I don’t think that me not declaring my undying love for you is the factor that prevents us from having hot sex,” Eddie mused. ”It’s definitely not the main factor, I’d say. But it’s up there.”

 

”Right, the touching thing. We need to do something about that,” Richie answered, his words followed by a lot of shuffling and Eddie assumed he was getting up from his bed.

 

”We?” Eddie questioned.

 

”Yes we. I’m fully committed to this,” Richie said. ”And not just because I think I have a pretty good chance of getting something out of it.”

 

Eddie let out an unattractive snort. ”Yeah, you’re definitely _not_ getting anything out of it, no matter what happens.”

 

”You’re right, bad choice of words. More like I can definitely get something _into_ something else if everything goes my way,” Richie chuckled. ”If you catch my drift.”

 

”Yeah, I caught it and now I’m throwing your drift away,” Eddie said dryly. ”Look at it go, say good bye to it. You’re never seeing it again.”

 

”That was a really good joke cupcake, hear me laughing,” Richie said. ”But I don’t hear you denying my chances of getting to bone in the near future, so cheers to that.”

 

”Or you could just find somebody who actually wants people to touch them,” Eddie admitted, feeling stupid about even mentioning it. Why would he say that? ”Your chances of getting an STD would be a lot better.”

 

”Yeah I could always do that, but why would I want to?” Richie asked. ”None of them are half as cute as you and don’t have an ass like you.”

 

Eddie scoffed and ignored the fluttering he felt in his stomach again. ”Everybody _has_ an ass, dumbass. Whether or not it’s Kim Kardashian or Taylor Swift level is a whole other topic.”

 

”Hey don’t hate on Tay-Tay like that. She has a decent enough rear.”

 

”I can’t believe I’m talking about Taylor Swift’s ass with you. You’ve sunken me this low, I don’t like to objectify women, Richie,” Eddie said.

 

”You’re totally right, as always Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie agreed. ”Talking about Kim K – you watch the Kardashians often? Bill says you like to waste your time on them.”

 

”I love to feel both inferior and intelligent at the same time,” Eddie admitted. ”Nothing satisfies me quite like the Kardashians.”

 

”I think I could satisfy you better.”

 

Eddie had gotten used to trying to hold his laughter around Richie, and he felt like he was getting good at it. But sometimes the giggles, that’s right _giggles_ , escaped his lips before he could stop them. ”Do you always _have_ to act like such a fuck-boy? If I wanted to hear perversted jokes and bad flirting, I would have just downloaded Grindr.”

 

”Fun fact about me, myself and I, I used to have Grindr,” Richie admitted. ”Met the love of my life there. Well I thought he was the love of my life – then I found out that his meat puppet wasn’t even half the size he swore it was. Broke my heart.”

 

”Jesus christ,” Eddie shook his head and glanced at the clock. ”I should probably go to bed.”

 

”Oh, to bed huh? What would you do if I were there with you?”

 

”Try to suffocate you with my pillow.”

 

”I know something else of yours that you can use to suffocate me with.”

 

* * *

 

”Do you ever even go to class?” Beverly asked Eddie one day when they were hanging out.

 

Eddie didn’t usually hang out with Beverly. She was the perfect person to work with, yes, Eddie absolutely adored her. But they rarely ever met outside the diner.

 

But right now Eddie felt like he needed some help and advice, and from experience he knew that Beverly was probably the best person to go to when in need of those. Bill might’ve been Eddie’s best friend, but he was filled with bad ideas, and Stan always said the same thing - ”play it safe”. But Beverly actually knew what to say and she always did her best to help. Eddie didn’t know what it was about her, but she was just easy to talk to.

 

”Yes,” Eddie grumbled and shifted in his seat. They were in that little coffee shop that Beverly loved – not the one opposite of the record store in which Richie worked at, no. ”Do you?”

 

”Darling you forget that I don’t go to any school,” Beverly hummed and took a sip of her cappucino. ”Now, tell me why we’re here Eddie. We rarely ever hang out, and while I thoroughly enjoy your small and firey self, I know there’s a reason behind us being here on this day.”

 

”Stop sounding so formal, it’s intimidating.”

 

Beverly smirked. ”My main goal in life is to intimidate men, you know this,” she said. ”Now, What’s the matter? Boy trouble? Is it Richie? Do you like him?”

 

”Jesus woman, jump to conclusions much?” Eddie exclaimed, a blush covering his cheeks.

 

”I don’t like your tone young man,” Beverly shook her head. ”Was I right?”

 

Eddie pursed his lips. Yes, of course he wanted to talk to Beverly about Richie. Well not just about Richie, but also about the uncomfortable fluttering he made him feel in his stomach and how his heartbeat would speed up like a race car. Eddie wasn’t familiar to the feeling. All he really knew was that he disliked Richie, well _had_ disliked Richie until he suddenly didn’t anymore and now he didn’t know what to do anymore.

 

”Sounds like you’re in a pickel,” Beverly said after Eddie had spilled his thoughts to her. ”He’s obviously into you.”

 

”Well, you can’t know that for su-”

 

”After everything you’ve told me about the interactions between you two, he _likes_ you. He’s not just attracted, but full on likes you,” Beverly interrupted Eddie, effectively making him shut up and pout a little. ”Now don’t give me that look. The only question is, do you like him?”

 

”I’ve never really had these feelings before, I don’t know what to make of them,” Eddie sighed. ”I’ve never even had a proper crush on anyone before. Just mild infatuations.”

 

”Okay,” Beverly said slowly, her eyes calculating Eddie. ”There’s really nothing _I_ can do to figure out your feelings. That’s something you have to do yourself.”

 

Eddie rolled his eyes and groaned. ”Well I do know _that_. It’s just that… it’s not like I can go up to him and be like ’hey do you like me?’.”

 

”Why not?”

 

”Well I just can’t,” Eddi muttered. ”And then there’s the thing with him always making dirty jokes and me getting freaked out by the smallest touch. Even if he did like me, he would get bored pretty quickly because I can’t stand people to touch me. He wouldn’t want someone like that.”

 

Beverly gave him a sad smile and moved her hand as if she was going to take Eddie’s hand into hers, but stopped the movement just in time. ”Oh Eddie… we both know that if he has a problem with you not wanting him, or anyone for that matter, to touch you, then he’s just not someone who you should even be with. You should be with somebody who accepts you like you are.”

 

”Well don’t go all philosophical on me Bev,” Eddie said but gave her a grateful smile anyway. ”It’s not like I don’t hear that every day.”

 

”Doesn’t make it any less true.”

 

* * *

 

What Eddie liked the most about University was that he and Bill went to the same one. The didn’t have the same major – Bill studied languages and literature while Eddie majored in psychology – but they did have sort of similar schedules. That meant that their school started at the same time nearly every day and they got home at the same time nearly every day.

 

Stan had once pointed out how incredibly dependent Eddie was of Bill. He didn’t mean anything bad by it – Stan was smiling and laughing when he said it (probably because he was drunk out of his ass) – but Eddie couldn’t shake the thought out of his head. Yes, he was dependent on Bill – Bill was probably the only person Eddie felt the completely comfortable with. Comfortable enough to let Bill kiss him that one time, comfortable enough to trust Bill with his secrets, comfortable enough to let him closer than anyone… and Bill never complained. He never called Eddie a burden and he never complained when Eddie was needy.

 

But of course Eddie couldn’t help but feel like he was annoying Bill sometimes.

 

”I can wait for you at the University if you don’t want to catch a bus by yourself,” Bill suggested when he noticed how uncomfortable Eddie was when he thought about going home by himself. It wasn’t that Eddie didn’t like to be in public settings by himself – well he didn’t, but he survived. But public transports were always dirty and filled with people and crowded and somebody always ended up brushing against you. Eddie just needed somebody to calm him down at times.

 

”No, no, you don’t need to do that,” Eddie shook his head. ”I know that you want to see Stan before he leaves, I’ll be fine.”

 

Bill still seemed unsure but nodded anyway before hurrying to his lesson. Eddie stared after him for a minute before turning around and almost pumbing into somebody.

 

”Wow, easy there Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie grinned. ”You don’t want to seem too over-eager to jump on me.”

 

”Hey Richie,” Eddie sighed, out of instinct taking a step back.

 

”I didn’t know you went to this University,” Richie hummed. ”Although, it does make sense. How come I’ve never seen you before in here?”

 

”Most of my classes are at the other side of the school,” Eddie answered. ”And I like to skip classes to go to work.”

 

Richie hummed in response. ”Right. I tried to call you yesterday, but you wouldn’t answer,” he said with a small pout and leaned on the wall next to him. ”Were you busy?”

 

Of course Eddie hadn’t spent his entire day just talking to Bev at the coffee house. They had gone to see a movie afterwards and Eddie had noticed all of Richie’s missed calls – it made him feel that fluttery feeling again, followed by something warm spreading from his heart, and so he had ignored them.

 

”Sort of yes,” Eddie nodded. ”I have a class now, so I should probably go… the professor is fucking strit about coming in late.”

 

”Must be the only one of his kind,” Richie mused with a laugh. ”Skip with me.”

 

”I haven’t been to class in like two weeks,” Eddie said. ”I was just going to fix my act and actually show up so the professor won’t forget that I exist.”

 

”With a face as cute as yours, I doubt he can forget you.”

 

Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes. ”No sorry Richie. I think I’ll actually go to class for once.”

 

”Do you promise to answer my call tonight?” Richie asked with an adorable pout that Eddie couldn’t resist.

 

”If I’m not asleep, then yes, probably.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao, this chapter suxs  
> oh well

**6.**

 

Eddie had waited for Richie to call him for two hours now and he was strating to get worried. He didn’t mean to, and he felt stupid for doing so, but it was already ten p.m and Richie always called before it got that late. They usually ended up talking for hours on end, which didn’t look pretty on Eddie’s phone bill, but somehow it felt worth it.

 

And Richie had promised to call tonight, and Eddie didn’t like it when people broke their promises. It felt silly, it was just one phone call – they talked to each other every night. He could go one more day without having a three hour conversation with him about nothing in particular.

 

Bill of course noticed Eddie’s agitation.

 

”You okay?” Bill asked from his place on the sofa. They had been watching movies for couple of hours now – since Stan had left to visit his parents, Bill and Eddie were alone. ”You keep on glancing at your phone. Waiting for a phone call?”

 

”What? No,” Eddie shook his head. ”Just a little antsy tonight, that’s all.”

 

”Did you take your medication?”

 

Eddie didn’t like lying to Bill. In fact, he hated it. Bill had done nothing to desrve it – he just wanted what’s best for Eddie, Eddie knew this, but he didn’t _understand_. Bill just couldn’t understand why Eddie didn’t want to take those fucking pills.

 

”Wow, your impression on my mom has really improved,” Eddie rolled his eyes and shifted in his seat. ”But it could still use a little work.”

 

Bill sighed. ”Eddie, you know they’re supposed to help you-”

 

”I know Bill. I do,” Eddie nodded and got up from the coutch, the movie suddenly not interesting anymore. ”I’m going to bed now.” Bill didn’t have time to say anything back, because Eddie had already walked out of the living room and retreated back to his room.

 

* * *

 

His phone rang at two a.m. Eddie wasn’t particularly light sleeper, but he was already awake when it did. He had gone to the bathroom and when he got back, his phone started ringing.

 

At first Eddie assumed that it was his mother – she had no sense of time and sometimes would call at ungodly hours, because she claimed to miss him and wanted him to come back home. Eddie had stopped answering when she called so late.

 

But this time it was his mother who was calling – no, it was Richie. Again, Eddie was tempted to not answer. He was tired and slightly offended that Richie had promised to call and didn’t, but despite himself, Eddie grabbed to phone and pressed it to his ear.

 

”What do you want?” Eddie asked, slightly irritated.

 

”Heyy, Eddie Spaghetti!” came Richie’s slurred voice. That asshole was drunk out of his mind. ”How are you on this fine day?”

 

”It’s two a.m Richie, some of us are sleeping.”

 

”Then some of you are boooring,” Richie sang before starting to giggle unctrollably. ”So what are you wearing Eddie Spaghetti?”

 

”A dominatrix costume,” Eddie answered dryly.

 

”That’s hot, send pics please.”

 

”What do you want Richie? I was trying to sleep,” Eddie groaned. It technically wasn’t a lie – Eddie had intended to go back to sleep when Richie called.

 

”I wanted to hear your cute little voice,” Richie said. There was loud noise coming from the other end of the line, almost drowning Richie’s voice beneath it. Eddie figured he must’ve been in a party. ”There was this other guy here, he wasn’t as cute as you, but I liked him.”

 

Eddie swallowed thickly. There it was again, the stupid feeling, to which he couldn’t put a name on. He felt a slight squeeze in his chest and a slight burn following it. ”That’s nice,” Eddie said silently.

 

”Nothing happened with him though,” Richie said soon after, the backround noise disappearing little by little.

 

”What would it matter if something had happened?” Eddie asked.

 

”Well it wouldn’t have been right, at least towards you,” Richie said, his speech still a little slurred. It sounded like he was walking now, Eddie assumed he was going home.

 

”Why wouldn’t it have been right towards me,” Eddie asked, begging himself to shut up. ”It’s not like we’re together or anything...” _Stop talking, stop talking, stop talki, stop talking, sto-_

 

”Right,” Richie breathed out, as if he had forgotten that detail completely. ”I better get going, sleep well Eddie Spaghetti.” And then Richie hangs up, leaving Eddie feeling bad, but he can’t figure out why.

 

* * *

 

Richie didn’t call after that. It was stupid and Eddie felt stupid, but it wasn’t like he had said anything that wasn’t true. It wasn’t like Richie and he were dating – they just talked and Richie flirted and Eddie responded with the only way he felt natural. Bill told Eddie that he could be mean to new people sometimes – that was his first reaction to Stan and Beverly as well – but Eddie blamed it on his social awkwardness. Being sarcastic and slightly mean was his best defence mechanism.

 

Bill had of course noticed that Eddie was feeling down, so he took it as his best friend responsibility to figure out what was wrong and fix it. Eddie, being Eddie, didn’t want to admit that the reason behind his bad mood was the fact that suddenly he didn’t despise Richie anymore. Richie had started to make Eddie feel something, something he was unfamiliar with and couldn’t put a name on.

 

Eddie had too much pride to admit that to Bill.

 

But it didn’t matter what Eddie felt anymore. Because whatever it was, it didn’t matter now that Richie didn’t talk to him anymore.

 

It was funny how in the span of little over a month, Eddie had gone from strongly disliking Richie, to tolerating him, to vaguely maybe liking him and to missing him in an odd way. He figured that he could call Richie himself – but he wasn’t sure what he’d say to him, so he never did.

 

Two months went by before Eddie saw Richie again – he had surprisingly come to the diner he worked at, with a tall, dark skinned, handsome looking guy, who Beverly named as Mike – he was Beverly’s boyfriend’s, Ben’s, friend who was also good friends with Richie.

 

It didn’t take much to make Beverly take their orders.

 

”So really you haven’t spoken to him in two months?” Beverly asked when she came back from the table. Eddie did his best to look busy wiping the already spotless counter.

 

”Nope,” Eddie said. ”He never called after that one time and neither did I.”

 

Beverly pursed her lips as she observed Eddie. ”You know, I was at that party that night,” she mused.

 

”Oh really? How interesting,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes.

 

”Yeah, I was,” she nodded. ”He’s quite popular with people – don’t ask me how, but it doesn’t take him too much effort to get someone to sleep with him.”

 

Eddie stopped wiping the counter to give Beverly a look. ”Why are you telling me this? Did I somehow imply that I was interested about this subject?”

 

”What I’m trying to say, is that he has gotten himself a reputation where he just sleeps around with people and then forgets about them. Trust me, I did my researched. And if he’s at a party, he never leaves alone. And yet, that night he refused every person coming on to him and left alone. And now he’s gotten back to his old ways. I wonder why.”

 

”Maybe he wasn’t sure how many STD’s he got at the time,” Eddie answered dryly. ”And when he got the exact number down, he continued on his quest to share them with anybody willing.”

 

”Excuse me,” a customer came to the counter, interrupting their conversation. ”Could I have some ketchup?”

 

”Not now, we’re solving his love life,” Beverly answered without looking at the customer.

 

”Ah, of course, apologizes. Continue.”

 

It didn’t really help Eddie to find out that Richie was a proper man-whore, if that was an appropriate term for it. Actually, it made him feel worse. Who was to say he hadn’t been just a challenge to Richie, that the other boy hadn’t been counting days until he could get into the pants of a guy who can’t stand people touching him.

 

Maybe it was better that he and Richie didn’t talk anymore.

 

”Talk to him,” Beverly said slowly, making Eddie glance at the booth in which Richie was sitting with his friend, encrossed in a deep conversation.

 

Eddie pursed his lips. ”We’ll see,” he said before informing his co-workers that he was keeping his break now.

 

* * *

 

The next time Eddie actually talked to Richie was two weeks after he had seen him at the diner. Eddie was studying at the library, trying to get his essay done, seeing as it was due the next day, when somebody slid into the seat next to him.

 

Eddie would have paid them no mind, but a familiar smell of cigarettes and cheap cologne and a familiar voice made him look at the person.

 

”I was kind of waiting for you to call,” Richie said not looking at Eddie but down at his phone – he was playing Angry Birds for some reason. ”But you didn’t.”

 

”I assumed you were going to – after all, you always called before I could,” Eddie answered, giving up on the essay – there was no way he was going to get it done now.

 

”Yeah, but I was kind of mad.” Richie was bouncing his leg up and down again. He was silent for a while.

 

”And I really can’t see why you were.”

 

”Of course you can’t. I was sort of mad at myself for assuming there was something between us when obviously there wasn’t,” Richie shrugged, turning his head to look at Eddie.

 

”You should have been more clear if you liked me,” Eddie stated, feeling awkward with the conversation. He never liked it when he had to address his feelings – and the conversation seemed to get closer to that line rapidly.

 

”I thought I couldn’t have been anymore clear,” Richie said, a grin appearing on his face. It suited Richie a lot better than the grim, neutral look he had been wearing before.

 

”I guess with me you should just say it directly,” Eddie answered. ”Besides, how was I supposed to know if you liked me for real or if you were just counting the days until you managed to score the guy who doesn’t want people to touch him. That would be an achievement.”

 

Richie stared at Eddie for a while, like he couldn’t believe that Eddie thought like that. ”No, no, no – never think that. That’s just wrong,” Richie shook his head. ”And besides, I’m not good with feelings and shit.”

 

Eddie bit his lip. ”Neither am I,” he confessed, and apparently that was enough for now.

 

* * *

 

Eddie didn’t care what Bill, Bev and Stan told him – he and Richie weren’t dating.

 

Maybe to someone else’s eye it might’ve appeared so at first – but Eddie had made it clear to Richie that they weren’t and Richie was okay with that. The main reason for that desision, was because Eddie didn’t think it would be fair to Richie.

 

After all, Eddie still couldn’t name the feeling he got when he thought about Richie or when he was near – Eddie knew it was a positive one, but it was foreign and slightly uncomfortable. It made Eddie want Richie to be near him all the time and when he wasn’t there it made Eddie want to call him back.

 

Beverly told Eddie that he was being dumb – she said that Eddie clearly liked Richie, and should just accept it already. And while Eddie didn’t have anything against liking Richie, except maybe the fact that it implied that he had _incredibly_ low standards, Eddie had never in his life experienced it before. He didn’t want to rush it and ruin it.

 

Then there was of course the touching thing – another factor that would have made their relationship not working. It was clear a romantic relationship involved a lot of touching one another – whether it was kissing, hugging or just holding hands. But it was expected from a romantic relationship. And Eddie couldn’t give any of that to Richie – not now at least, and maybe never.

 

”You know it doesn’t bother me,” Richie had said when Eddie told him. ”You have absolutely zero qualities that I don’t like, so don’t ever think that I care about that.”

 

It may not have bothered Richie, but it did bother Eddie – and that was the explanation that Eddie gave when someone asked if they were dating or not.

 

”Why don’t you take your medication?” Richie asked one day. He was laying on Eddie’s bed and the pill bottle was conveniently on the nightstand – unopened and untouched since Eddie had left it there.

 

”It doesn’t help,” Eddie said, trying to keep his tone and face neutral. He had fought with Bill about this matter too many times – he didn’t want to argue with Richie too.

 

”How do you know if you haven’t tried it?”

 

Eddie inhaled sharply. ”Believe me, I’ve tried it. It makes me feel worse, so please don’t bring it up again,” Eddie said, shaking his head.

 

”Then I won’t,” Richie said.


End file.
